Subject: divorce
(THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A
YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.)
Marko
DIVORCE AGREEMENT:
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's or the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that
I want a divorce.... I know we tolerated each other for many years for
the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has
clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We
can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and
war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll
take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and
biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You
are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough
to move all three of them).
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and
illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's
and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You
can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.
(THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A
YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.)
Marko
DIVORCE AGREEMENT:
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's or the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that
I want a divorce.... I know we tolerated each other for many years for
the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has
clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We
can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and
war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll
take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and
biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You
are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough
to move all three of them).
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and
illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's
and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You
can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.